“We want people to make guarantees to us, but we are not willing to make guarantees to ourselves.” The first person I heard say this was Dr. Eric Thomas and listening to him I couldn’t help but say to myself, “you know what, he’s right!” I’m sure you’ve seen countless commercials on TV where they say a product is going to do something and if it doesn’t, you have a 30 day money back guarantee. Now let’s say hypothetically speaking that you purchased one of such products and it failed to deliver. You would walk into the vendor’s store to return it with complete confidence that you’re going to get your money back because of the GUARANTEE that was made to you. You expect it. It is an afterthought. In fact it would not be far- fetched to say that you demand it. Failure of the vendor to live up to this guarantee may lead to you becoming visibly agitated or angry because you expect him/her to be accountable. But what guarantees are you willing to make to yourself? What are those promises that you have made to yourself which you expect to follow through on irrespective of the circumstances happening to and around you? Do you hold yourself to the same degree of accountability like you would that vendor when it comes to these things?
Today I thought I would share 10 promises that I have made to myself. They are things that I have and continue to condition myself to follow through on come rain or sunshine. They are my own. They may be different from yours, but if you’ve not picked up the habit of making certain guarantees to yourself, I encourage you to give it a try. Enjoy:
I Promise to have commitment: Decision, Action, COMMITMENT. These are the building blocks of a new identity. When you get to the point where you want to change a certain thing about yourself, it will usually go something like this: you get to the point where you feel you cannot lie to yourself anymore. You’re fed up and may be slightly irritated with yourself and you decide that something has to change. You take some action to effect that change. All of a sudden you have this burst of energy. It’s like you have a new lease on life. That energy lasts for a while and you’re cruising, but then it starts to wane. This is where commitment steps up to the stage. When the energy fades, all that is left is the measure of the man/woman. You must remember why you wanted to change and you must see to it that commitment is reinforced periodically. There is not a once and for all shower that keeps you clean and free of dirt permanently. You get dirty, you shower again. If you will make it to the other side of change, of a new identity, you’re going to need commitment.
I promise to show consistency: One of the beautiful things about life is that if we look around and pay attention, there are always lessons to be learned and reinforced. From the little drops of water from a leaking pipe that eventually fill a bucket, to a savings bank account that compounds over time, life does its best to explain the concept of consistency to us. A little effort sustained over a period of time is much more beneficial than a seasonal herculean effort. As a trivial example, I remember when I got to the point where I wanted to make working out a permanent fixture in my life. At first I was pushing myself hard, spending about 2.5 hours at the gym daily. I would lift weights for about an hour and a half and then hop on the treadmill for another hour. But I also noticed my gym activity was infrequent. I would be consistent for 2 months and then disappear for another 5 months before returning. When I sat with myself to find out why I was so infrequent, I realized that subconsciously I dreaded going to the gym because I had made it so grueling and taken the fun out of it. Simply put, my 2.5 hours of pushing myself to the limit everyday while they were awesome in terms of body results for the short period of time, were not sustainable. I made a simple tweak to cut my gym sessions to an intense 1 hour a day for five days a week. This enabled me to be more consistent which yielded better sustained results in terms of body goals as opposed to sporadic ones. The longest I have been absent from the gym since then is about 2 weeks, as opposed to 5 months.
I promise to have focus: There may be some arguments to be had here, but most of the successful people that I have studied seem to have a common trait: an uncanny ability to zero in and focus. In science we are thought that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be converted from one form to another. Simply put, energy is a finite resource. If energy were infinite then we would pay no mind to how it was expended. The fact that it is however, means that we must pay attention to how we allocate our energy in order to maximize the results we seek. Certain things you give your energy to will take you closer to your goals. Certain things you give your energy to will pull you further away. Zig Ziglar always talked about how you must avoid being a wandering generality and be a meaningful specific instead. Figure out what you want and where you’re trying to go in life. Pay attention to the activities and people that get you closer there, and focus on those.
I promise to show urgency: You’ve heard it said many times… without urgency, desire loses its value. There simply isn’t much more I can say to articulate that better. A sense of urgency helps you attack your goals in a manner that you otherwise wouldn’t. There is no time like the present. One of the things that I’m looking and hoping to get better at over time is cultivating a deeper sense of urgency when it comes to the goals I set.
I promise to have clarity of vision: I spoke at length about this in an earlier blog post in July. Vision is such an underrated skill to have, that it is often overlooked. I rank it up there with the dexterity of a decorated gymnast or the athletic prowess of an Usain Bolt. At any point in the day, be it my first waking moment or some other random time, if I am stopped and asked, I want to be able to clearly state what the vision for my life is, where I am going and where I see myself in a number of years. The sooner I can do that, the sooner I can get to work.
I promise to push myself and work: When I was growing up, my dad would always say to me “be sure to make hard work your best friend.” All these years later, those words still echo in my head from time to time. Some people say work smart, not hard. Fair enough. But make sure you show up and work. There are certain things that I want to ultimately be defined by, and hard work is one of them. When we make demands of life, sweat equity is not a bad collateral to have.
I promise to have gratitude: Here’s the secret of gratitude: it will ALWAYS cause a shift in mental paradigm. That shift in mental paradigm causes a re-infusion of energy that gets you going and chasing again. It is hard to be in a state of “woe is me” when you have gratitude. Whenever I feel beat up or feel like I’ve got nothing left to give and it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to pack it in and give up, I try to find 2 or 3 things that I am thankful for. They may be small or seem inconsequential, but I just need enough to get me going again.
I promise to value the principle of time: Time, just like energy is finite. It is the one thing that you cannot get back. I always maintain that the greatest indicator that you truly value a person is that you are willing to give them some of your time. I try to have a deep respect for time, and an understanding that it cannot be retrieved. This understanding dictates the way I approach certain things. As a trivial example, I work when I work, and I play when I play. I am always searching for better ways to allocate my time in order to maximize results.
I promise to be a decent human being: It is my firm belief that after all is said and done, the greatest thing you can invest in while on earth, is people. I believe in kindness absent of being continually taken advantage of. I believe in going the extra mile if it can make someone else’s day just a little better.
I promise to always welcome challenge: The only reason you graduated middle school and then high school and possibly college was because you passed the tests along every step of the way. The only reason a person graduates from riding a bicycle in the park to being able to operate a motor vehicle on the interstate at high speed is because they passed a driver’s test. Life is no different. Life is dynamic…always happening. It has ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys. I have come to believe that those moments that seem like valleys are there to test me. They are there to teach me something. To state it differently, problems are simply opportunities for growth. If we can pay attention to the lessons we have to learn and approach each discomfort with the right attitude, we can come out on the other side better than before. I do not run from challenges. I welcome them, I learn and I grow.
I will conclude with the question I started with. What guarantees have you made to yourself?
