Recently I keep coming back to the story of Jacob in the bible. You know… the one where he wrestles with an angel till the break of dawn. No, this is not a religious post per say, but I started writing these posts to share my unfiltered thoughts, and this one is no different. For those of you who’ve never heard or read this story, Jacob is alone one night and he wrestles with an angel the whole night. Matter of fact, at some point the angel realizes that Jacob is a very formidable opponent, so he tries to gain an advantage by touching Jacob’s hip socket to put his hip out of joint. This does not deter Jacob however, who continues despite a dislocated hip to wrestle with the angel. Finally when morning comes, the angel pleads with Jacob to let him go. Jacob responds saying “I will not let you go until you bless me”, to which the angel finally obliges.
I’ve heard and read this story many times growing up. This week however, I’ve been so intrigued by it, and I think I have an idea why: in some ways, I can identify with Jacob’s desperation. It’s palpable as you read the story. You feel like Jacob is at a crossroad. It’s almost like he’s at his breaking point where he’s told himself “it’s now or never. By hell or highwater, I either find my solution tonight, or I cease to be”. Fueled by that desperation, he stays up all night and wrestles! Not even a disjointed hip could tame his desperation or dilute his resolve.
I have battles in my life that I’m still facing. I still have things in my life that I’m trying to overcome. I still have areas of my life that I’m trying to improve. I still have dreams that I have not been able to make reality. I still have things that I wish were better. I am truly inspired by Jacob’s resolve to stay up…in the quietness of night, and wrestle. I want to be desperate enough to do the same—to look my problems and goals firmly in the eye and ‘wrestle’ until the proverbial break of dawn, which brings with it answers and solutions. It is ever more apparent to me that to get there, I must have the right level of desperation, roll up my sleeves and do battle. I must not give up regardless of whatever limitations I may encounter (for Jacob it was a dislocated hip), but stay the course until daylight brings with it a new song for me to sing.
May I cultivate the level of desperation needed to wrestle. May I wrestle unwaveringly in the face of unforeseen challenges. May daylight reward the perseverance that I have shown. Amen.